Online dating??

Does anyone else share this opinion of online dating. I am an attractive 22 year old woman who has been dating online for the past few months. I have been on quite a few dates and get quite a few emails. Out of ten emails I might respond to one. I just find that there is something missisng with online dating and am wondering if anyone else feels the same way. I feel that any guy I choose will be the same guy every girl chooses because of looks, success, whatever so when I go out with an attractive guy online I feel like I am his 11th date of the day and in competition with every other girl on the site. I know this might be true in real life dating too but I think this feeling is magnified with online dating. When I do go out with a guy more than once I get the feeling like it is only a matter of time before another online girl comes along. I am also getting the feeling that any attractive guy on there is only looking for quick sex.


The whole thing is just strange and I'm finding it difficult to really keep any lasting connections because I have no connection whatsoever to these guys in real life. I feel like online dating would work if I was ok dating unattractive men but because I'm attractive I am looking for an attractive guy. Is this making sense to anyone? Does anyone else feel this way? I want to hear others experiences / opinions.

Online dating??
That's dating in general. Even when you meet up with folks the usual way - parties, through friends, at work - it's a chance. Always.





What you hope to do when you're dating is find someone that has the same world view, the same outlook on life - and the spark. Online dating gives you a larger pool of individuals to draw from.





If you're going for the guys that all women would want - it doesn't matter where or how you're meeting them - the issues remain the same.
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Reply:My man and I met online and have been together for six years but it really depends. Maybe you are choosing the wrong sites for what you are looking for. There is a big difference between Adult Friend Finder and eHarmony, if you know what I mean.





Also, if you are "attractive" and looking for "attractive" then what do you think they are looking for.....the next, more "attractive" person? Do you want a relationship or are you interested in what people think about the guy on your arm?





Take a good look around you at couples that you know....I bet there is at least one, where one partner is a lot more "attractive" than the other....so what made them hookup? Obviously something deeper than "attractive" or "good looking".





Some things to think about.





Shine on
Reply:you should put the online dating on hold
Reply:You have a valid point. Men love going out with as many girls as they can its sheer volume of conquests that counts , sorry but thats the way they are programmed.


So before the internet they would have to venture out to a bar find someone buy them a drink and all that.


Whereas now all the legwork is taken out and alot of the early stages of a relationship is got over with quickly online. ie the talking. plus you can cast more baited hooks at the same time.


Its just a tool so guys can date more and faster.


When I say date i really mean get laid cuz we all know thats the end result.


Thats the harsh reality but if you are hot yourself then they shouldnt want to look any further.
Reply:I met my husband on line .. Not on a dating service though it was random IM'ing ... It was very hollow and I wasn't too thrilled with that relationship but once we met I fell in love and got married!
Reply:I also do the online dating thing and I only e-mail/talk to one girl at a time if there is similar interest then I take it from there.... I do agree with you on the points you made, Just think of it this way, the guy you meet is on a date with you because he is interested in you... Conversation is key and the only way a relationship will work.
Reply:Attractive is only skin deep..... and a matter of opinion...... happiness %26amp; true love are blind..... a relationship based on physical appearance is hollow, shallow %26amp; not likely to experience happily ever after.
Reply:I tried both match.com and yahoo personals and would say I understand your feeling. I think many people who go there are looking for "a good time", and not to meet a real woman for a long term relationship. It felt very meat market-ish. And, I really didn't like the guys talking about sex so soon, as many did...ewww, you're a stranger, and I'm not a prostitute! I'm a regular person...





I really liked the ads for eHarmony, and decided to give them a try because I was having trouble meeting someone in real life--I'm in my mid 30's, and by this time, most men are married or other wise involved, I don't go to bars ro clubs, or belong to church, and the guys I meet at work are much younger than I am due to the nature of my job. Long story short, I met the man of my dreams within a month--he's the only guy I spoke to--there is no competition, because you can't search fro anyone--they do it and match you. You have no hand in that part. I'm getting married in February, and I can honestly tell you, I never would have met him without them. As it turned out, I went to high school with him 20 years ago, and we lived with 2 miles of each other since then, and never crossed paths! Thank God for them, otherwise my life would not be nearly as wonderful as it is now.
Reply:it is normal in internet world
Reply:thats the problem with online dating.. u don't really know if ur his #2, 3, 4, 5, 6 or whatever... and its a bit risky too... imgine dating someone who u haven't met in person.. just a name... don't even know how or what he feels towards u... the best dating preferences is up close and personal...
Reply:i had a boyfriend with whom we were together for 3 years and i met him online first. but after a few online chats we met in real life and thus it was very different. i think online dating is only good for the reason that the pressure on you to go up to someone and say hi and start talking is gone, it is very easy to make contacts online.


the guys you date online are probably very different in real life. on the internet, everybody behaves differently because it's so easy to say anything to someone you don't see, there are no consequences. you wrote that you have the impression that they are only looking for quick sex and this confirms what i say...


my advice is to go on a date with them in real life. it's okay to get to know each other online but later it doesn't go anywhere
Reply:I completely agree with ya. I quit doing the online dating thing. Never was into the bar scene dating thing either.


I figure, if its meant to be it will be if its not i need to quit seeking after it.
Reply:Yes, I feel the same way, but from a guy's perspective... I don't think any of the girls I went out with were looking for quick sex. If they were, I guess I missed the clues.





It is definitely strange, and I never made any lasting connections when I tried it either. Although I got contacts for various reasons, there were several girls who didn't care about me, they only cared about my stats or my looks.





Its impossible to connect with somebody trying to "specify" a date... it lacks the spark that makes a relationship work. E-mails don't really help because that is a relationship with a computer...





The funniest date I had was with the prettiest girl. She didn't have much on her profile, and she didn't (maybe couldn't) read mine... we decided to grab a drink instead of e-mailing, but we had absolutely nothing in common except our looks... it would've been a terrible date if it hadn't been so funny. I'm an engineer; she was unemployed and living with her parents. I enjoy philosophy, she was obsessed with the basketball game that was on. I tried several times to strike up an intelligent conversation, but she thought that everything I was interested in was boring. Maybe she was tired from all the internet dates she'd been on that night.





The more successful dates were with the less attractive girls. They seemed to enjoy the date more, and with no offense to pretty girls, they seemed to be more intelligent. I went out with a PhD candidate, and an international auditor. I enjoyed the dates, but I suppose my superficial desires overshadowed my intellectual desires, and the connections faded qickly.





I felt exactly as you described - the pretty girls were almost certainly getting clicked on nonstop by every guy looking for a pretty girl (which is every guy)... I don't like that kind of competitive environment... it isn't natural.





It almost worked for me once though... I had already met the girl through friends. She's attractive, intelligent, and has a great sense of humor... I saw her on the internet and I clicked her profile... she was coming over for a dinner party later that month anyway. The dinner party went great, and we had good chemistry together. We e-mailed back and forth for a while, and made plans for a date. She had to cancel because her ex husband dropped their son off and she couldn't get a sitter. After that we tried to make plans again, but nothing came together. I wasn't the only guy talking to her and now she's getting pretty serious with the guy who won the competition.





I eventually gave up and moved to Saudi Arabia... I'm starting to think that was a mistake. My advice is to not join a convent, but rather, try another venue for dating.
Reply:the best bet to avoid "online" dating is to not do it. Try and meet right away for a coffee and make the online part only a spark not the end-all. Real dating is done in the real world.





Enjoy!





PS. men are dogs (online and off...;0)
Reply:I can see your point. I originally joined eharmony because of this. That way I couldn't go shopping for guys based on looks. They would be sent to me based on compatibility. I haven't met anyone from that sight, I actually met my current boyfriend on another one. We talked online and on the phone for a bit before we met in person. I was a little nervous, since he was so good looking and seemed to have the perfect personality. We are having a wonderful relationship so far! I think the most important thing is to go with your gut. There is only one Mr. right out there, that is why all these other guys aren't doing the trick and you are so paranoid about them. When you do meet Mr. Right, he will be different from all the other ones. You won't really know why, but he will stand out to you! Best wishes!
Reply:Yes, it is odd, but can be fun and an experience of lifetime. The guy probably feels the same way- he's on his 11th date as well. And you are in competition, that's why you are on a dating service. LOL If another gal/guy comes along, then it wasn't right. (7 times out of 10 they are looking for a 'quicky' LOL). Remain true to yourself. Just have fun, enjoy company, don't take too seriously. Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. If it doesn't feel right, then move on. I am now 45. I met my now husband on line dating service. True story!


It took a lot of frogs to meet "my prince", the site was called emode. I was on 6 different services, and dating 3 men at one time. I had a ball! Went out after chatting online for minimum of 2 weeks.


I had a lot of fun! went out with guys that had like interests/hobbies. (service matches you up once you fill out questionaires as you know). My girlfriend is on eharmony. I have explained to her do not take seriously. She has a habit of attaching herself too quickly and allows herself to be hurt/used.


If on a 'date' and it doesn't feel right, thank him for his time and leave. I always had backup. I would meet person at restaurant, (a friend and her beau would be there- just in case- can never be too careful). )Never ever have him pick you up, always meet at a public place.


Take your time. There is no rush. The right one will come along.
Reply:Because you are attractive you are looking for an attractive guy? Wow, you stay out of the deep end of the pool, don't you?
Reply:You obviously need to try online dating me! I'll have you within the second email ;)
Reply:I am good looking and intellegent, and funny as hell, and I still have the same problem that you and almost everyone else has. Online dating is stupid.





As for the girls that say that all guys are dogs, thats funny, we probably are.





This one time I dated this girl and I talked to her online all the time and always had the perfect things to say to her, but when I hung out with her I couldn't even talk to her cause she was so gourgeuos, she was an 11. Lucky for me she had a bigger chrush on me than I did on her. She just sat on my lap and started sticking her tongue down my throat. But for some reason even after making out with this girl I was still deathly afraid to talk to her offline. I have never to this day experienced anything quite like that again.





That is why I stopped dating online, because you have so much time to plan everything out and you get comfotable with interacting that way. When trying to talk to a person who is practically in love with you in person seems too scary to bare and you even end up avoiding the person in public so you can talk to them online and that is the only thing that works for you, something went wrong along the way.





Damn I miss that girl.