Friday, April 16, 2010

Online dating dilemma?

A few months ago I joined an online dating site. I have met up with this guy twice, and were planning to meet again. We had spoken for months on MSN before we finally met.





I haven't told my family about him because its early days. This guy has told his folks about me but lied and told them we met in a bar.





Now its my turn to tell my parents but I do not wish to lie to them because if we ever got into a relationship, I know the truth will come out me met online. I really like him but I dont wish to start anything based on a lie.





Should I tell my my parents my own lie, as If i tell them the truth im sure they'd disprove. Or discontinue meeting this guy?


Is it sad meeting online? Were both young 22 year olds. All comments appriciated thanks.

Online dating dilemma?
There is no stigma now attached to on line dating. It's a very, very common way to meet people. What are your alternatives? The church? errr No. Night Clubs (they're all drunk usually), Pubs? (Ditto). Your parents, if they are supportive, will appreciate that you have taken the time and effort to get to know this person by MSN before actually meeting. I believe YOU are the problem in that YOU and only you find it sad to be dating online. But in reality what is the difference where you met? Would it be any better to tell your parents you met at a night club. No. Be proud of what you have done. Obviously you like him and he does you too. So don't start with a lie. Tell your parents the truth and I'm sure they will not see it the way you do.





Good Luck, Sweetie..
Reply:There's nothing to be ashamed about. I know plenty of people who date online. one of my friends met her husband that way. Just explain to them that you met through a legitimate dating service and you're happy!!! They will come around. Good luck!
Reply:i met my man on a phone chat line he never told his family how we met but my sis and mum no my dad dont cos its none of there buisness and its not relevent all the best x


p.s we are now married with 3 kids 5 yrs on
Reply:This is very controversial, some people are a bit embarrassed to let the world know they met online, others don't give a monkeys so I guess its all down to how comfortable you feel with it. If you get on well together then why would you want to stop seeing him. As for your parents, just tell them you met at (the first place you physically met him) then that wouldn't be a lie ... just not the whole truth! Also - be careful, it is still early days. Follow your gut instincts!
Reply:u should just tell it how it is... people meet on the internet all the time.
Reply:i think on line dating is great as long as you play safe ...i met my partner of dating direct..u shudnt have to lie to ya folks ..im sure if they see you happy and he treats u well they wont care where u met him ..good luck
Reply:It's not sad at all to meet someone online. Increasingly more and more young people are finding love and making connections this way - hardly surprising when so many of us use the Internet nearly every day. I was in the same situation as you once, although it was the other way around, I was tempted to lie about how we met and he was prepared to tell people we met online. Don't take his lie too personally, he perhaps feels embarrassed (not of you!) of how you met because maybe he's never had an online relationship before and has never "believed" in them so to speak. That was the case with me, anyway - I was always the kind of person to sneer at online relationships until I made a great connection with a guy I got to know in a chat room. And here we are, two years later, still together and now proud and grateful of how we met.





I think you should tell your parents the truth. Think about it: won't they be much more concerned for you if they find out you were lying? You're effectively saying to them "it's something to be worried about" by not being honest (at least from their parental perspective). Don't give up on your relationship because of his lie - it might well just be out of shyness and worry that his parents will rain on his parade by saying online relationships aren't the real deal. Parents are from another generation and they don't always understand how things work today - my parents were worried I'd get hurt but now they're happy for me because they see how happy I am and how strong my relationship is.





Good luck, I hope it all works out for you.
Reply:Honesty rocks, keep it simple ok,, im telling you that you are in line with being honest,, keep it that way and if nature cant handle that then its problem,,, you are on the right track,, i know you have such a nice parent, they might say thing because they wanna protect you ,, you cannot be angry to them because of that, you have to tell them and follow your heart, i mean its your life, tell them because they have to accept the choice you make,,, i tell my family who am i going out with ,,why because its healthy,, it lets them know we are not doing any hanky panky with out lives,,,you must be asian !
Reply:Its not sad you met on the internet, But why lie to your family if you start now your whole relationship will be a lie.So its worth being up front from the start and your family should respect your decision at the end of the day, As you are both adults.
Reply:online dating isnt sad,and how cares wot your family thinks,ure 22yrs old,and he told his family first,eventho he lied,it shows hes serious about you,otherwise he wudnt ave told them at all
Reply:first you say you don't want to lie, then you ask if you should lie.





very confusing.
Reply:Tell them the truth. They may think it strange at first or even worry about the guy creep. Just tell them he's a great guy and it doesn't matter where or how you met. You could even ask if they think it would be better if it was some guy who picked you up in the bar.





I know a lot of people think it is strange to meet someone on line. That's partly because it so new and people don't understand it. It's also partly because it has gotten a bad rap in the media. They keep showing stories about some girl who meets some one on line and the guy is a stalker or rapist. I reality this doesn't happen any more then any other way of meeting a guy. It just gets ratings so that what they show on TV. They rarely show a story about a couple who met on line and are now happily married.
Reply:at 22 why do you need your parents approval.....?????


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